Fathom

I was on a pilot called ‘Fathom’. I wish I could say more about it, but I never even saw the set.

I was booked as a librarian. Yeah, try not to laugh too hard. I know I thought it was pretty amusing considering it as another stretch to the range of work I’ve done. I really had trouble pulling something librarian-esque from my wardrobe, but the costumers seemed to be okay with the one and only librarian-like dress I had.

The scene was supposed to be a bunch of high school kids in a library, hence me, the librarian, but I never got used. I comfortably sat all day in holding. The PAs reminded the ADs that there was a librarian available, but apparently the scene looked okay with just the kids. I didn’t mind. I get paid either way. It would’ve been nice to see the set, but believe me, this wasn’t the first time I got stuck in holding. And even if I were up there working, I’d be afraid that my lack of wholesomeness would shine through a little too much. Ah well.

It was fun to sit in holding and talk with all the moms and a stand-in who also got forgotten.

Oh yeah, and lunch wasn’t bad. And there was one electrician who was damn hot… Wowie. I watched his muscles flex as he pushed a big light on a rolling stand.

Yeah, those were the highlights of my day. Oh, the glamour… 🙂

American Dreams

I’m gonna combine three shoots into one this time. I was on American Dreams as a driver in Jason’s ’66 Corvette. Even though I knew I wouldn’t be seen walking around in frame, I still did my best to wear something that was period-correct for 1966.

Anyhow, I’ll do sort of highlights of each of the days… For the most part, the days were pretty run-of-the-mill except for these oddities.

The first day included 3 locations all around Sunset-Gower studios. And well, the Corvette’s pretty darn loud, so I don’t usually drive through frame much. I tell the PA’s and such, but they still don’t listen for some reason. I end up in the driving line to go through frame and then around the block. Usually, I only go through once before they pull me out. This time, I made it through 3 times before they told me to go park somewhere around the block.

I wait there for a few hours, watching all the other car people do their circles. But then, I realize that the cars haven’t circled in awhile and the ones that staged in front of me haven’t come around. Okay… That’s pretty strange… So I walk up and peer around the corner… Everyone was gone! They’d done a company move and forgot about me! Luckily, I recognized one guy who could tell me where to go so I hollered out to him, asking if he could help me. First he looked at me like I was insane, but then we both realized how funny the situation was.

He told me where to go for the next location and I lined up in that drive-through line, knowing full well I wouldn’t last more than one or two crosses through frame. Sure enough, after my second cross, the PA told me to go up to the parking structure and wait for the next shot.

I waited there with a bunch of other parked cars for a couple hours, wondering when either everyone else was supposed to show up or lunch break would be called. Well…lunch was called, but I’d missed it because I followed instructions. If I’d known I could’ve left the lot for lunch…well, dinner…it was about 4PM…first, I’d’ve done that. Anyhow, I had to settle for a couple bagels from craft service. But darn it all, without those, I swear I would’ve passed out.

The rest of the night went off just fine.

The next time I was on the show, I parked on the lot and they told me tonight’s scene was a rain scene. Ummm…the Corvette’s a convertible and the top doesn’t go up anymore. Thankfully, they put me in the back, away from the sprinklers that simulated the rain.

The only other oddity that night was that when I was heading out, one of the transpo guys asked what happened to my license plate. My license plate? Hmmm…I walked around the back of the car to discover that the plate was completely gone. I talked to the prop guys who’d put on a fake Pennsylvania plate and they said there was no plate on the car to begin with. I shrugged, then remembered a certain odd clanging noise when I was on the freeway, heading to the set. Yup, within the next few days I was at the DMV, buying Jason a new plate for his car. Ah well. Life’s an adventure.

The third time I was on the show was a two-day call in Pasadena.

I drove through the frame twice. On the second time, one of the Assistant Directors came running out of the building, waving her arms, yelling at the top of her lungs, “Shut that thing off!!! Shut off the Corvette!!!! NOW!!!!!!” I did as I was told and then just shook my head. It wasn’t the first time I was on the show, why the hell didn’t they remember that my car’s too loud to drive through the frame? I always asked before I started driving, too. Hell, the sound man probably wanted to throttle me by this point. Poor guy. I parked the car and hung out with a few of the other car people.

One guy in particular saw that there were antique stores near the set. Both of our cars were parked and likely wouldn’t be going anywhere for awhile, so we ran through one of the antique malls. Let me just say that it was so good, I brought Jason back there the following week. Yeah, I know I wasn’t supposed to leave the set, but darn-it-all, we knew we weren’t going to be needed for the twenty minutes we took to run through the shop.

Later on when both our cars were parked again, we headed down an alley that led behind a Maserati dealership. Both of us being car folk, naturally, we had to walk in and look. Well, the salesman was shuffling cars around and there, aimed out the back door, top down, engine running, was a metallic-midnight-blue Ferrari convertible. Let me just say that I have never been so tempted to steal a car in all my life. The back gate was wide open, too! Good-ness gracious me… What a sinful temptation.

Nothing else the rest of that day or the next was of any interest. Just more of the same sitting around, then moving my car from one side of the street to the other…all the while dreaming about jumping in that Ferrari and driving somewhere–anywhere in it!!!!!

Entourage (1)

I was on a new HBO show called ‘Entourage’. It’s literally that…a show that dramatizes what goes on in the entourage of a music recording artist. It’s got an ensemble cast, most of whom were there the day that I was. We shot at a club on the Sunset Strip called Shelter, but we parked near Sunset and Vine. Kind of a long shuttle ride, but I’ve certainly had longer.Anyhow, I’d gotten the booking late the night before and had to scramble to get everything together. Club wear. Very trendy. And Jason was also nice enough to hose off the Prowler because that car’s what actually got me on this call.

When I got to holding, about three long blocks away from Shelter, I was so glad to just drop all my bags, but then they almost immediately herded us to wardrobe where I nearly ended up in a very tight and very short purple dress, but the costumer loved my red with black, sorta alligator print pants, so all I needed was a shirt.

When the other costumer pulled out one of those metal mesh shiny shirts, I grimaced because I have one of those at home, but didn’t figure they’d let me wear it. Oh well. I surrendered my voucher and made a mental note that if I ever got on Entourage again that my sequin skin tight camouflage outfit, my metal mesh shirt, my little gold metallic dress, and my green fake alligator pants should be in my bag.

Thankfully I’d brought both a heavy jacket and a blanket. Holding was outside and since I didn’t have a back on that little shirt, I was freezing. I think the worst part about that shirt was that it only had two ties in the back holding it on. Nothing around my neck. The whole time, I truly felt like one good jiggle and the darn thing would fall down around my waist.

On set, I’d brought my blanket, which the costumers hated, fearing that I’d forget to take it off when the camera was rolling. I never forgot and they never stopped watching me, but once I’d warmed up, the blanket was really more so that I could pull up my darn shirt in a little bit of privacy before it fell off!!!!

My back might’ve made it on camera, but that’s about it. I recognized Debi Mazar, Kevin Dillon and Jeremy Piven.

During lunch, I figured I’d conduct an experiment in the bathroom… Testing my shirt. I bounced once and the darn thing really was around my waist!!!!!!! Words cannot describe how tight I tied that thing after I made that discovery. It was more like my little boobs were all that held the shirt up…yikes!!!!

Back on set, during a bit of down time, I overheard part of a conversation that sort of stuck with me. Now, I don’t know if I heard the whole thing and I also don’t know how much of it was a joke, but I do know that Jeremy Piven was talking to one of the production guys and the subject had to do with what was going on after the shoot.

I could’ve sworn I heard Jeremy Piven say that he was going to sleep at the club because the turnaround was so quick! My ears perked up and heard the production guy say something like, “You do what you have to do.” But I was being herded out of of the building and couldn’t hear any more of the conversation. Darn. That could’ve been something funny to put in a Hollywood Heat book somewhere.

Outside the club, I was sitting in the parking lot on one of those cement parking log thingies, while looking up at the giant billboard with Leonardo DiCaprio as The Aviator. When I looked below it, I happened to see Tobey Maguire walking up through the driveway of the club. I blinked. I did a double take. Yeah. What the hell was Tobey doing there? I dunno, but he walked up to a group of production people and started talking.

Weird, but okay… There was still much shooting to be done. I went back into the club shortly after Tobey went in. He hung out with Debi and the rest of the people watching the monitors for awhile. I ended up having to leave again because they supposedly wanted to use my car soon and I had to hop in a shuttle and go get it.

Once in my car, I put one of my spare shirts on over the silver mesh shirt…I was still very worried about it falling off! When I got to the set, everyone was very tired and very grumpy. Apparently all the cars booked for that night plus the hero Maserati were all silver. Doh! But my car was the silliest, so they placed me behind the Maserati out in the street and told me to wait a little bit.

I did.

Then all of the Production Assistants started running around and hollering something I couldn’t hear because I was too far away. Every PA was scattering and a bunch of extras were being herded. Then one of the PAs ran over to me hollering, “Are you Lisa?”

“Yeah…Why?” I asked curiously, somewhat terrified by the worry in the girl’s voice.

She waved her arms and talked into her radio. I had no clue what she said until she turned to me and told me to lock up my car and go get into one of the shuttles.

“Uh…Okay…” I did as I was told, still terrified, but okay with it.

The shuttle driver didn’t know what was going on either, but we somehow figured out that I was getting close to 16 hours on the set which means my rate goes through the roof for what’s called Golden Time. And that they were probably trying to hurry me over to checking out so they wouldn’t have to pay me that kind of money. I was totally okay with that and understood the whole concept.

But I still had wardrobe’s metal mesh shirt.

I was so thankful for the extra shirt I’d put on. The shuttle driver did think me a tad odd when I untied my metal shirt and dropped it out underneath. But hey, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. And when I turned it in to wardrobe, she looked at me strangely, wondering what I was doing turning in my shirt all by myself. I told her I had no idea either.

Next, I tried to to go to holding where the signout line was, but once again, there was a PA hollering for me!!! I got thrown into yet another shuttle, still having no clue what was going on, why they wanted me back on set without having signed out. I was worried I’d have to go back to wardrobe and get the shirt again. Still terrified to be the background celebrity what with my name being hollered at every corner and all…

But when I got to the set, perhaps the one and only PA who wasn’t looking for me was the one who found me and together, we still had no idea why I was there, who was calling for me and what for.

Finally, the PA from earlier runs up to me and I ask her, “Please tell me what’s going on. I don’t care, I just want to know what’s up. No one’s telling me anything. I can’t do what you want me to do if I don’t know what’s going on.”

Sure enough…It was because I was close to Golden Time. She signed me out and I swore that was a fun little runaround that’ll likely show up in a book somewhere. It was insane, but fun all at the same time.

I went home very tired, but strangely fulfilled.

40-Year-Old Virgin

This’ll be the quickest entry…

I was booked.

I was cancelled.

My paycheck arrived in my mailbox.

I have to admit, though, that I’d’ve loved to be on this show. I think it would’ve been a blast. Oh well.

Domino

Yes, my category was ‘recovering nymphomaniac’ and from the moment I’d learned of it, I was determined to make the absolute most of it…even though I had no idea what was expected of me. They told us to wear stuff that was sexy, but in a support-group kind of way–whatever that meant!

I chose jeans, a little cleavage and my big, tall, crotch-high, black suede witch boots. I was a little late to the set because LA traffic bit me in the ass and I ditched the freeway in favor of side streets only to miss the one-way street and have to go around again. Thankfully, no one noticed that I was late…they really only noticed my boots. They noticed them so much I was worried I wouldn’t get to wear them. The crew guys seemed to like them fine enough, though. 😉

After breakfast, all the extras were herded over to the wardrobe trailer where I crossed my fingers that they’d let me wear the boots. They kept giving people boring stuff to wear and I really don’t own a lot of boring stuff. I just hoped that I’d brought something suitable.

It was my lucky day. They made me change to a different shirt, which wasn’t that much different than the one I’d shown up in, but whatever…the boots were on!!!!!!! They didn’t say they liked them, but they didn’t say they hated them. I was so happy, I was ready to do cartwheels in any case. The boots kick ass and I’d always hoped to wear them on a set someday but never had the opportunity.

When we got to the set, the First Assistant Director [1st AD] started placing us in what looked like a small theater of maybe ten or so rows, about ten seats wide. I guessed it wasn’t exactly a support group meeting.

There was a big sign on the wall that read ‘Nymphomaniacs Anonymous’ and there were bad nude paintings everywhere. I grinned in spite of myself. Somehow, I was soooo in the right place. Yes, half of Ashleigh Raine was a recovering nymphomaniac and needed to come up with a good character in her head because after three rounds of musical chairs, I was in the front row!

…And seated next to a guy who usually does props. Apparently, they’d needed a few more extras because not only was I next to a prop guy, I was in front of an electrician and some other guy who had a clipboard and seemed important. I dunno. I was already having fun and the camera hadn’t started rolling. I did find it pretty funny that no one said anything about my boots…they just stared. That was hilarious.

The scene consisted of our leader talking about how sex has gotten out of hand. Too many people are addicted to it and it’s bringing down society. The director, Tony Scott, told us that the scene is very funny on the page, but for us to play it straight.

I’d been playing it straight the whole time all the while making up my little character in my head. Yeah, I told myself that this was only my second meeting and I wasn’t sure I wanted to or even could give up sex especially since I did so much writing and had to do research sometimes. I never did tell anyone my character backstory. Oh well.

After shooting our leader’s monologue a bunch of times, they did a turnaround…the camera was now looking at the audience from our leader’s point of view.

Well…let’s just say that I really played up my little character. There’s one point where our leader says somethng like “And you ladies mustn’t lure your Great Dane with the pleasure of a peanut butter snatch.” Yes, that’s friggin’ hilarious [not to mention a little icky], but that’s where I really let loose as though I’d just done that the day before.

And apparently Tony Scott saw me…and liked me.

Next thing I knew, the Director of Photography had the light meter right in front of my nose and the camera crew was paying special attention to me…and it wasn’t just the boots anymore. The prop guy struck up a conversation with me and of course Ashleigh Raine came into the conversation. It was universally agreed that I was the right person for the job that day. What a hoot! And all I did was look orgasmic!

I hammed it up like I’ve never hammed it before! I swear, I never try to attract attention, but darn it all, being an erotic romance writer while sitting in a nymphomaniac’s anonymous meeting struck me as downright ironically hilarious and I felt the need to really make something of it because when else would I ever be in that kind of situation?!

Now, my fingers are crossed that the scene makes it into the finished product. I almost always land on the cutting room floor, but maybe karma’s with me this time. Maybe I’ll make it onscreen for once…or at least into a deleted scene on the DVD for a change!

Ummm… I saw the movie in the theatre. Good golly, gracious me, I got in that movie. There’s even a close-up where my head was the size of the movie screen. Jason started busting up. I couldn’t hold it in, either. The people around us didn’t figure it out because it was too dark in there, but if ever I’ve needed to get a screen capture from the DVD, it’d be for this movie… You can’t miss me.

Carnivale (5)

All rightie! This is gonna be a doosy, so ya’ll might wanna grab a cup of coffee and settle in. This Tale will cover the best shoot I’ve ever been on. Ever. Like ever in my whole little career of being an extra.

Admittedly, that isn’t very long (2 years at the end of this coming January) but during all that time, I’ve worked about a hundred days and while some shoots were great because I got out early or the work was fun or easy, this particular shoot was the best because the hours were both long and interesting at the same time. I really thrive on that. Full costume, good catering, stunts and great people. I couldn’t ask for more.

So, without further fanfare, Carnivale…

It was a two-day shoot in the carnival tent on the soundstage which happens to be less than ten minutes from where I live. Usually, I have to drive about an hour or more, so having such a short drive already put me in a great mood.

Once there, I did the usual rigamarole of getting my voucher, then going to wardrobe where the costumers were pretty grumpy due to the previous day having been rained out and half the costumes were still wet. I hadn’t worked the day before, so I got stuck in a different line with costumers who weren’t quite as grouchy. They still gave me a short-sleeve dress, but I’d come prepared with all sorts of stuff to wear underneath so I wouldn’t get cold.

Breakfast was good and there wasn’t a whole lot of down time before we were taken over to the stage and herded into the tent. The prop guys attacked me as usual. I ended up with a glass bottle of Coke and bag of peanuts. Now, keep in mind that I had to carry these two props all day, both days, just about wherever I went on the set. That should be worth a chuckle or two or three in some cases.

So, after collecting props, I was assigned a husband by the 2nd AD (assistant director). So far, John is the absolute best fake husband I have ever had. Wonderful, wonderful man. I hope I get to work with him again. He’s hilarious and when I got cold, he put his arm around me and warmed me right back up.

Okay, so we learn that the scene is one of those healing shows. 1930s carnivals had those kinds of shows where us townsfolk would go in hopes that we, too, could be cured of our illnesses. John and I walk into the tent and hit our mark a few million times before they move the camera and start getting into the real healing stuff.

And my oh my was that interesting. After doing dolly shots with the camera in motion, they got out the steadycam. The camera operator, who’s name is Henry and has long dark hair to go along with those bulging arms from carrying around the camera (yum!), his assistant, the sound man, and another camera guy all literally ran around the principal actors so they could do a nifty effect with each of the three healings.

It’s one thing to see the camera operator moving around with the camera, but to see him hustling plus three other guys all trying not to step on each other or anyone else and doing a damn great job with each take…I was so blown away. All of us extras were.

Oh! I almost forgot the funniest part of my fake marriage to John. Yeah, we were at a healing show, right? Well, we’d agreed that the reason we were there was because he…uh…couldn’t get it up anymore and I was about to leave him if he didn’t get healed. Okay, so we got a lot of chuckles out of that.

…Then, Paul (the 2nd AD) gave me two fake children! Ummm…yeah…we had fun trying to explain to the 12 and 10 year old exactly why Daddy needed healing without really explaining why Daddy needed healing!

For the rest of the first day, me and my fake family had an absolute blast. Toward the end of the night, we’d even added on a couple aunts to our little fake family.

See, on set, things can get boring. It’s the people you meet who keep it interesting. One of the aunts had been on the show a million times before and ended up striking up a conversation with one of the principal actors, too. That was pretty cool because usually principal actors won’t even stand near extras let alone talk to us. Waaaay cool end to that evening.

Once out of my costume, I headed home in torrential rain, once again thankful that I only live 10 minutes away. The rain was hell and puddled across the street in some places.

The next day was a little misty, but not too bad. I went through the whole rigamarole again, getting into costume, having the make-up people douse me with fake dirt, etc. I realized that the shoes I had on were the exact same ones that I’d worn the very first time I was on the show and this time, they were more comfortable, but still hurt my right foot. Oh well. This was still by far my best shoot ever and it was only getting better.

I picked up my props…again…I really hated them darn things by this point, but I’m a good extra…I play along…and went into the tent again. This time we were moving on to some stunts. Of course, when I learned there were going to be stunts, my ears perked up for anything Jen and I could use in Driven To Distraction. I reunited with my fake husband and Paul took a liking to us. We could follow instructions and actually looked like a couple because we got along so well. Anyhow, Paul always assigned us certain crosses right at the top of each set-up.

The first stunt was a guy getting his throat cut. I don’t want to ruin too much of the show if anyone watches it, but it’s kind of hard to describe stuff without a bit of a spoiler…Brother Justin is a very bad man. He goes into the tent and falls to his knees.

When a guy asks him if he’s okay, he pulls out a scythe and slits the guy’s throat. From there, chaos ensues. All of us extras are running around terrified, trying to get out of the tent, but can’t because the guy who got his throat cut fell by the entrance and a whole new pile of stunt people dog pile on him, too.

So, us extras are totally freaking out, running around. And yes, I’m still carrying that damn bag of peanuts and the glass Coke while I’m running seemingly for my life. My good-for-nothing fake husband and I split up, too! That was pretty fun. We claimed that we were looking for our kids who didn’t work during all the chaos.

So, Paul gives John and I special crosses for each camera angle on the throat slit stunt. I must say, that appliance with the fake blood was even icky close up and knowing that the guy wasn’t hurt. Gave me the willies!!!!

Next up was a girl getting the scythe in her back. There were three scythes. One was hard plastic, another was somewhat floppy plastic and another was retractable…for obvious reasons. The real trick with this stuff is the camera angles.

Paul gave John and I a million different crosses during the scythe-in-the-back sequence because it was intricate and the people running through frame had to be consistent and hit their marks every time.

There was one angle where I had to dodge 1) the scythe 2) a camera moving toward me 3) a camera that wasn’t moving and 4) a whole bunch of camera dolly track laid all over the floor, not to mention 5) all the crew guys. Yeah, talk about intense… I really felt like I’d accomplished something when I navigated all that stuff without running into anything, including other extras who were also running for their lives!

After that, another stunt guy got his arm chopped off. Paul gave me a couple crosses, but then I wasn’t immediately needed so I hung out a little beyond the action and just watched.

I’d thought I was out of the way, but wow. Clancy Brown kicks serious ass. He chopped off the guy’s arm and continued past the camera, saying his lines and swinging the scythe…and heading straight for me. I didn’t know he was going to do all that. The first take, I just looked like a deer in headlights. After that, I cowered from him and I think he liked it, helped him stay in character, in the moment. That was pretty friggin’ cool, if I do say so myself.

They didn’t have the blood rigged for the first few takes, but when they started rehearsing with it…wow. I’d never seen it done before. The stuntman had his real arm sort of twisted in his shirt and the fake arm out through the sleeve. The small arm chunk that got chopped off was held on by magnets. When the arm chunk was removed, a pressure pot blew the fake blood (corn syrup stained red) through a plastic tube and it blasted out of holes in the fake arm. Pretty nifty, if I do say so myself.

I mean, the girl who got it in the back just had the blood line hooked up and when Clancy hit her back, they blasted the blood out. But the arm stunt seemed a little more involved. It was from this area that I heard my favorite lines from the set “Watch out for the blood line” and “Don’t step in all the blood.” It was pretty funny if you didn’t know what the gag was.

My favorite crew visual was when one of the camera operators turned around and his face was all covered in blood. It gave a certain air of danger to operating a camera. I liked that. It looked so hardcore.

After doing a bunch of close-ups, they decided to get some wide shots and I got filtered back in again. When the guy’s arm came off, three or four extras got sprayed so badly they screamed. I hope that take goes in the finished product because it was so real. I was nowhere near the action. I only heard it.

Still in wide shots, they decided to forgo the blood, but still do the stunts one after the other. Paul instructed John and I on yet another cross. It was around this point where I realized how stupid I was. I mean, here’s this big tall guy with blacked-out eyes, swinging a scythe, killing people while saying some horrific stuff and what do I do? I run STRAIGHT for him!!!! Yes, all the while still carrying a bag of peanuts and a glass bottle of Coke. Ain’t I a smartie?

Anyhow, it was during these crosses where I really felt in the moment. The girl gets it in the back, I run right in front of Clancy, he swings the scythe at me, I cringe and keep going. I actually felt the swish of the scythe a few times!

The first few takes, Clancy didn’t really go for me, but he noticed that I hit my mark every single time, consistently like clockwork…and he used that. I really got off on it, too. I mean, he kicks ass. He really does and whether or not he was conscious of swinging at me, he did and that made me really feel like I was doing something, really part of the scene instead of just another stupid extra in the wrong place at the wrong time.

There were three more stunts after that: another girl got it in the face, a guy got it in the shoulder and yet another guy got slammed, but I can’t say who because this was the season finale and I just can’t give that away.

Anyhow, throughout all of that, Paul continued to give John and I great stuff to do. I found myself coming up with really great motivations for why I ran toward the danger, then ran five other directions…I was looking for my fake kids. That’d make any sane person do pretty crazy stuff, right?

I told ya this was gonna be a long one. There’s still more!

Once most of the blood was spilled, the director (who was absolutely wonderful in every way a director could be (he loved us, he really did)) wanted to get some other inserts of the healing stuff from the day before, so we all got back into the spots we’d been in and went from take to take. It was nice to not have to run a whole lot for a little while.

Between various takes, I ended up talking with two of the principal actors: Toby Huss (he plays Stumpy) and Nick Stahl (he plays Ben). Definitely a highlight of my two days there. It’s just not normal for principal actors to talk to the extras.

There were a few set-ups that didn’t really include John and I, so we weren’t paying much attention. We’d join the action when it was necessary, though. That was cool. At one point, John, Toby, Nick and I were all joking about something when I looked toward the action and saw Paul crooking his finger beckoning me while saying, “You. Come here.”

I was terrified.

I thought I was going to be in trouble for talking to Nick and Toby and not paying attention. I dutifully went toward him and he put me DIRECTLY in front of the camera! Yeah… The director directed me where to stand, too. Henry also told me where to look.

Unfortunately, no one told me what to do and I hadn’t been paying attention to what all was going on in the set-up, so I just had to fake it. I glanced over at Toby who gave me a thumbs-up and John grinned at me. I was terrified. There I was in the MIDDLE of a crowd of people all by myself with the camera on me to start the shot. It eventually moved past me, but still, it was insane because I didn’t know what to do.

Shortly afterward, Henry told me there’s a real good chance that I’ll make it into the finished product because he was right on me and there was no one else around and he stayed on me for awhile. I’ll just die if I end up in the finished product. I really will. I mean, the shoot was already my best. I didn’t need anything more!!!!

Also, Toby gave me a Christmas CD that he’d put together. It’s a collection of lounge style comedy songs that he and a friend had written and he sang. I was absolutely blown away. I swear I’ll never ever forget him. I love listening to the CD, too. It’s hilarious!!!! I mean, my world has been rocked repeatedly by Carnivale and this time, it just couldn’t get any better. Toby’s the best guy I’ve ever met on a set, too. Between him and John, I was very well taken care of.

Yeah, best shoot ever…got better…got better…got better…got impossibly better. I mean, I can’t even think of anything that would have made an improvement on that shoot… like at all! I was completely blown away and still am! I wish they could all be as incredible as this one. But alas, that’s just not the way this business works. Oh well. At least I’ve got the memories and tons of stunt research for Hollywood Heat books. Zowie-wowie did I get a lot of ideas.

Where The Truth Lies

It took me three tries before I finally figured out what gate to go in at Universal Studios and then they didn’t have any maps for getting to set. It was still dark outside because it was only 5AM when I headed in.

According to the convoluted instructions that the lady at the gate gave me, I hopped on the right street and then came to a suspicious looking stretch that said, “Do not enter.” I was thinking, “Well, if I don’t go here, where the hell’s the rest of the road?” as I stopped in front of the sign. …Then I saw why I wasn’t supposed to continue. That was the part of the backlot tram tour where the Red Sea parts!!!!

I had half a mind to drive through it, but I was in my husband’s ’66 Corvette and I still didn’t know exactly where the set was. With a playful frown, I threw the car in reverse and set about finding the way around the Red Sea. It wasn’t lit very well, but I did find my way.

Once at base camp, all the guys were drooling over my car. That’s always fun.

I went to wardrobe (who of course hated everything 70s that I brought) who gave me a short dress…It was many shades of beige, complete with mountains and geese. I felt sooooo ‘happenin’! Then, I went to hair who gave me a Cher wig with bangs. Then make-up, who dolled me up…a lot like a toned down version of Cher.

Once on set, I parked my car and did a bunch of walking-through-frame kinds of things. I bet my car got more camera time than I did!

That day was short. I got to go home at a reasonable hour. I had as much trouble getting off the Universal lot as I did getting on. Most of the gates are closed on the weekend. But I did drive past one tram tour! 🙂 They probably thought I was Jennifer Beals or someone. I was just glad to be booked for another day.

…And wouldn’t ya know it, I almost drove through the Red Sea again!!!!!! It was 5AM and dark! What did I know? (I tell ya, though, I really, really, really, really wanted to drive through just so I could say I’d done it!)

Anyhow, the day started much as the first one had. Except the costumers changed their minds about hating one of my outfits. But didn’t tell me they wanted me to wear that outfit first, so I screwed up and wore the wrong thing. They didn’t get mad, they just had to give me something else to wear later on.

In that first set-up, I struck up a nice rapport with the First Assistant Director. He at first didn’t realize that I’m not like most extras…I actually have a brain and can understand and follow directions. He gave me a starting cue and an ending cue and I hit them every time.

When the lead actress got to a certain spot, I walked down the stairs of a water tower and then when the lead actress started going up the stairs, I was to cross her path right in the middle. The First AD even singled me out specifically to tell me I was “Wonderful!” It was just nice to know that he’d noticed.

And that water tower–which by the way, I was getting serious stair-master exercise on–it’s actually a tank for shooting underwater stuff. It was empty, but nonetheless nifty to look down into just to say that I’ve seen it. Kinda like the Red Sea, only no risk involved and if I were to have gone into it, I would not have been chuckling like I would have done while parting the Red Sea.

After that scene was done, the costumers gave me another outfit…which had THE most stuck zipper on the planet. Just when I was about to give up and go get help, the darn thing came down and I shimmied into the beige pantsuit.

The next shot was in Hollywood and I had to get in my Corvette (yes, still wearing wig and costume, passing 2 tram tours this time, plus all the people on the freeway) and drive to the corner of Hollywood and Vine. Ironically, the location was out front of the nightclub where Jason and I got married!

They were doing a minor stunt where one car cuts off another one, but my ‘Vette was parked and they had precision drivers running. I was totally jealous. …And annoyed because I was instructed to walk away from the action and didn’t get to see any of it. I only heard it. The second take included some brake-squealing that didn’t sound intentional. After that one, the Coordinator had a few words with the girl doing the cutting off. Okay…so it was more than a few… But at least the next 4 or 5 takes were good.

I must have walked up and down that block a hundred times by the end of the day. One side, then the other, and I never really saw the scene. Oh well. I guess I’ll have to wait until the movie comes out. I still bet that my car got more camera time than I did!

Carnivale (4)

Super early call time out in the middle of nowhere at a small lake. As I arrive and head to wardrobe, extras are being asked if they don’t mind wearing wetsuits and getting wet. Ummmm…no thanks for me. I get dressed in my rags and grab some breakfast.

When the time comes, we all hop on the bus and go to the set. I weaseled a decent sized purse out of the costumers and managed to fit a bottle of water along with my palm pilot and cell phone into a brown clutch purse. As unfortunately usual for me, despite the fact that I was already holding a purse, I became a prop magnet. First I was given a parasol, but because I only had two hands, I had to pass on two fans and a bible. Ah well. At least I had shade. Thank goodness that prop guy got to me first! [I have no idea why the prop people always love to hand me stuff. I almost always get singled out of crowds to carry props or wear the spectator t-shirts. I don’t know why.]

Anyway, we’re ready for the scene to start. They do the safety meeting and then the people who were willing to get wet walk into the lake. Three or four stunt/safety men went in to the water as well in case someone tripped. During the wide shot, the costumers put one guy in the same smock as the people in the lake and he acted in the scene with the rest of everyone. Cool guy…and looked damn good in a wetsuit. Yeah, lots of eye-candy that morning.

Once the wide shot was done, everyone who wasn’t in the water went back to holding. Hell, I even took a short nap. The sun was hot, but I still had my parasol for shade. I pulled out my palm pilot and goofed around. It sure looked funny…me in 1934 clothing playing with my palm pilot! I even made a few calls on my cell phone! That’s the magic of Hollywood.

After lunch, I waited around another few hours and then finally got to go work again. Men in wetsuits…yum… Then I hear a horse whinney. I turn around and see Mr. HotSexy1934Cowboy and my knees got weak. Yum-yum-yum-yum-Yum! I was so not expecting to see a man that hot, dusted with dirt, on or near a horse. In other words, I looked one way and there were men in wetsuits. I looked the other way and there was a real cowboy. It was definitely a day for eye-candy.

Then there was the dead body which floated up in the lake.

But don’t worry, it was supposed to and it wasn’t real, but darnitall, it sure looked real! I saw it up close when the effects guys were rigging it. Wow. They did a damn good job. And when it came through the surface of the lake, it definitely got the desired effect out of everyone.

Clubhouse

The following is an excerpt from an email I’d sent shortly after this shoot:

I was on a new TV show called Clubhouse. I don’t know all the stars, but the two principle boys were Jeremy Sumpter and Dan Byrd.

Getting to the parking lot was kind of fun. It was in the upper 90s, so I wimped out and brought my air-conditioned Prowler. As I pulled in, somehow, it was a high-end Plymouth/Chrysler/Dodge convention among all the production cars. Not only was I there with my Prowler, but there was also a Crossfire and a Viper! I knew I’d be in for an interesting time.

The crew was actually running late and we ended up chasing daylight. The scene was New York street where Van Nuys Boulevard somehow doubled for New York.

I was supposed to be an art vendor, but that didn’t pan out and I just ended up as regular walking-through-frame background. I wore my New York artsy hottest clothes, thinking that wardrobe would make me change, but she didn’t. She loved what I was wearing. In the end, I was almost bummed because with the intense heat and my 100% spandex and polyester, I baked. Oh well. At least I looked good and only got one blister on my heel.

There were two scenes. One where the kid buys the necklace, the other when he sells it back after dark. But because they were running late, they’d had to use high-powered lights to fill in sunlight. Boy, did my sunglasses come in handy. Up close, them lights feel brighter than the sun!

For some reason, there were a lot of newbie background actors on this call. It was fun to remember back to when I had no idea how to “go on action, banana around left, bear right along a line, then diagonal out of frame.” Reminiscing was great. And between takes, I got to work on notes for Eternal Talisman.

As the crew was setting up the second scene, I was outside calling Jason, asking if he still had some steak left to barbecue for dinner whenever I got out of there. Just as I was about to go back into a beauty salon that was doubling as extras holding, the rest of the extras were hurrying out. The set medic rushed in, followed by a few more people with big orange plastic toolboxes.

I found out a couple minutes later that a guy had a seizure, but was okay. Then the crew started scurrying faster because they wanted to get another shot done before the ambulances came. We were delayed only about 20 minutes by the ambulance and firetruck sirens and lights. The guy was fine, but as far as I can tell, standard procedure is to give him a ride to the hospital. I learned that on a different set.

Yep, this wasn’t the first time I was on a set where an extra had a seizure. Last time, it was Navy NCIS and it was a woman. Her seizure happened before anything got going, though. It was just strange to hear sirens and see the ambulance coming…then stop right in the middle of all the production trucks and equipment. Bizarre. I’m just glad that in both cases, everything turned out okay. I’ve even seen that lady on another set since then, so she must be doing fine.

After all that, it was business as usual. I “went straight, banana-ed right, went for the tree, then followed that line all the way out of frame” about a million more times, taking care that when I passed the garbage can, I always pulled my bag from my right shoulder, lowered it and carried it in my left hand, not by the bag’s strap. Yeah…that was my little bit of business just to keep myself interested in working once I’d finished with the Eternal Talisman notes.

I have no idea when this show aired or if I was even in it after all. I did have a great time, though. Even now, I’m thinking that there’s got to be a place in a book for “go on action, banana around left, bear right along a line, then diagonal out of frame.” There’s just got to be.

Hmmm…maybe a few books down the road.

Medical Investigation

This one’s a little on the short side, but sometimes that’s just the way the show goes.

On Monday, I was on Medical Investigation. Yes, Mr. Ultra-Sexy, Neal McDonough was there. In fact, just after I’d done a wardrobe change, I was heading to the back of the soundstage and Neal was coming toward me in the walkway and with a big smile said, “Hi” to me.

The general rule is that as background, you don’t talk to the talent unless they talk to you first and you refrain from eye contact, but darnit-all, how can a woman refrain eye contact from that man? Besides, it was a little dark and I wasn’t sure I was really seeing him. I nearly fainted, but I managed to eek out a “Hello” back to him. The rest of my walk through the stage was spent gasping for air and with a big ol’ watermelon grin plastered on my face!

All the while thinking “Jen’s gonna kill me!” ‘Cause she totally digs Neal, too. So far, of all the celebs I’ve seen, few have spoken to me without me speaking to them first. My very first speaking encounter was with Antonio Banderas…He said, “Excuse me.” I was standing in his way! 🙂

Anyhow, back to Neal… Later on, after a trip to the ladies room… OH! I almost forgot about the irony factor… When I was on Angel last year, it was shooting on Stage 5 at Paramount… the exact same stage Medical Investigation was shooting on. Talk about deja vu.

Anyway, there are about five steps going down to the stage door. As I was taking the first step, Neal came out through the door while talking on his cell phone. He was about to let the door close, which would have been perfectly fine for me because I wasn’t anywhere near it yet, but he scrambled to hold it open with his foot. And, yep, I flew down the last of those stairs, oh hell yeah! When a sexy gentleman is holding the door, it’s just impolite to make him wait!

Thing I learned while on this set: Use the ladies room frequently, it somehow enhances the chance of running into the talent.

…And I never did get to see the actual set. I remained in holding the entire day!

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