Ripley’s

The following is an excerpt from an email I’d sent to Jen the day after this shoot:

There were five events last night. Clearing a pool table, forward flip slam dunks, breaking boards on your forehead, hot dog eating and my personal favorite (where a new hero might come from) laying in a bathtub with the most rattlesnakes.

I was right up in the front row so one of the snake wranglers occasionally tossed me a one-liner or two. The line I remember most was, “It’s just controlled fear.”

There were two hundred rattlers on stage. And that particular wrangler even got almost bitten on his pinky finger. He’s been bit so many times that regular antidote doesn’t work on him, they’d have to do surgery.

Anyhow, the snake wranglers were from Texas so a couple were even wearing cowboy hats. The testosterone level was so deep I was worried I’d need waders. Them rattlers were pissed off and striking at each other.

That was the only event of the night where a new world record was set. One of the snake guys sat in the bathtub with 81 rattlers. Yeah, you just gotta be really still. The girl doing it had a helluva time because two rattlers started to have a fight and everyone was worried that they were gonna strike at each other, miss and end up hitting her. Also, after they got one of those pissed off rattlers out of her tub, the other one slithered deep between her legs and it took at least a half hour to figure out how to get the darn thing out of there without it striking at anyone.

Anyhow, the guy with 81 rattlers in his tub, his wrangler was the one who talked to me in between. He had to put the snakes in one by one. By the time he got to 65, he was sweating bullets because most of the snakes on the pile they were pulling from were pretty pissed off by that point. I mean, I couldn’t see the look on the guy in the tub’s face, but his wrangler was lookin’ pretty nervous as they got up through the 70s. The guy in the tub is one of those crazy guys who’ll kiss cobras.

The tension in the place was extreme because by the time there were so many rattlers in the tub, they were all getting pissed off and the number one rule of snake handling was do not make any sharp movements. I mean, the tubs were plexiglass and we could see that there were about twenty snakes just snuggling under the guy’s back. It was actually more difficult to get the snakes out of the tub than it was to put them in there.

At 81, they stopped and started taking them all out. It was so intense. That was when I decided that our hero will either be a snake wrangler or perhaps a former one.

Of all the events, the snakes really did it for me. I mean, how crazy is that? One move and the thing could strike you. These rattlers were striking sometimes multiple times. They were not messin’ around. It was great.

So, after talking with Jen, we decided to create a hero very similar to any of the guys I saw on this shoot. I’m not telling which Hollywood Heat book he’ll meet his lady, but I am serious when I say that I do background acting for the stories.

That whole night shoot was incredible. While in the audience, I stood next to an incredibly handsome fellow named Jay. Yeah, he does stunts sometimes… Just like the hero in Driven to Distraction.

Once and awhile, a gig comes along that really moves me, really affects me. This was certainly one of those gigs that offered up stories and characters smashed into an experience that knocked my socks off. And I got to keep a snake skin, too. I keep it in my office for inspiration.

And as a little side note to all of this: During my “lunch” break around midnight, I got a call from Starsky & Hutch essentially begging me to help them out and work the following weekend. Of course, I was excited, but they went one step further and offered me SAG vouchers. I was in heaven. At the time, to get into SAG, three vouchers were required and they’d just guaranteed me two. I was on my way to achieving further dreams.

Comments are closed.