I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

I hadn’t been on a big call in quite some time, but this one wasn’t half bad. Or maybe I just kick into survival mode and somehow the massive throng of extras ceases to bother me. Or maybe it was because I now know that if I forget everything else, I must bring a coat and a book to read. Those were my saviors this time.

I was part of a gay pride parade. WooHoo! This is why I love extra work. It exposes me to things I might never have experienced otherwise…

I got to wear most of my own clothes. They gave me a totally awesome burgundy tanktop that fit me like a glove. I brought a very loud pair of pink/purple floral bellbottoms. They put a pink bandana on my head and I put on my burgundy Chuck Taylors. I was all set. I whipped out Crazy Wild by Tara Janzen and turned to page one.

Shoots in downtown LA can be hell sometimes. Usually just getting there is an adventure in itself. This one wasn’t so bad because I didn’t have to be there until noon and most of the traffic had dissipated by then.

After chowing down a doughnut, I boarded a people mover to the set. We sat in holding for a little while and I read a few more chapters. (The book kicks ass! I read Crazy Hot when I was on Numb3rs… The whole book. In one day. I hadn’t done that since high school. It was sooooo good.)

Then, it was time to shine… I grabbed my army green coat and readied my best, “Don’t worry, I’ll stash it when we’re rolling” line for when the costumers inevitably requested I leave it in holding. (I never leave it in holding because then I literally freeze…and that makes me an unhappy extra. There’s only one thing more annoying than an extra: a grumpy one!) Over the years, I’ve mastered the art of hiding a jacket on set where the camera can’t see it.

Initially, I was marching in the parade, but they needed more spectators and I got moved to the sidewalk. That was fine with me. I’ve spent my share of gigs walking forward, resetting, walking forward, resetting, walking forward, resetting. Standing in one spot sounded pretty good to me. I read a few more chapters and huddled in my coat while newbie extras looked on in silent (and some not-so-silent) envy. The serious ones will learn and adapt. I wasn’t the only one with a coat or a book, but as far as I could see, I was the only one who’d brought both!

All in all, not a bad day. The costumes were colorful. The gay pride was contagious. I had a blast!

Yes, I saw Adam Sandler and Kevin James. They were at the front of the parade waving at everyone.

Between takes, I was talking to the girl next to me and as Adam walked by, he added a line to our conversation and we both thought that was really nifty cool. And then it hit me…

I got in my wayback machine and a certain incident washed over me in frightening waves…

About six or seven years ago, I was a seatfiller at a bunch of awards shows: at one of which, Adam Sandler was there to either present or receive. Being a good little seatfiller, I went into a row where there was an empty seat. The people around the empty seat said that the person sitting there would be right back. I replied that I’d sit there until that person returned. That was my job. Well, when the guy returned, the commercial break was just about over and I had to make my way out of the row.

Which, oddly included getting past Adam Sandler. He’d shown up and sat down while I was in the row. Now, normally I’m very sure on my feet and I stealthily slide past everyone else in the row. Well…not this one time. Nope.

I tripped.

And did a face plant right into Adam Sandler’s lap. Literally. Like, he was wearing beige pants and my forehead was somewhere near the button on his waistband. I still remember the horror…even as I’m writing this, I can still see the cotton fabric and the pocket.

I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life.

He looked at me like I was insane. I felt like I was insane. Apologizing profusely, I regained my footing and got the hell out of there as fast as I could. I really wanted to dig a hole and crawl into it. I was honestly that embarrassed. It didn’t even matter who he was. Tripping that hard into any guy’s lap is a mortifying experience for me if I don’t already know the guy!

I’m just glad to see that I didn’t crash and burn so hard that he remembered me and ran away screaming while on the set of this movie.

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