Raising The Bar (2)

I was in the pilot of this show and was quite surprised to be called again now that episodes got ordered. This is the first time I’ve been in both the pilot and the series.

I was a public defender in the pilot. I was booked as a public defender again, but when I got there and the AD was signing us in, I noticed my name was separated out all by itself near the court reporter and clerks. As I got further through the line, I saw that I was supposed to be “Marcus 2nd”. What the hell did that mean?!?

In essence, I was instantly terrified. As far as I knew, I was about to be paraded around naked. No, wait. That’s a role I could figure out on the fly…

Anyway, I stressed all the way through check-in, all the way to the wardrobe line and then even more when I was pulled out of line because apparently I was someone important that might be needed on the set first or something, so they cut me in front of the rest of the extras. Aaaack! I hate it when that happens.

It took three tries. None of the suits I brought were appropriate for what they needed and two of the suits they gave me didn’t work right either. During all of this, I heard, “She’s going to be right there at the table the whole time. Right next to Marcus.” And the Costume Designer was being exceptionally picky.

Great, so I was about to be playing a heavily featured role that I didn’t know how to do. Nice.

I readied myself for the snake pit and dove right in.

Sure enough, I was seated in the courtroom, at the prosecutor’s table. Then my one big moment happened… The guy who was clearly the legal consultant walked by. I gathered up the courage to flat out ask him what it was that I was supposed to do. Do I take notes? What?

I was to be the prosecutor’s assistant. I was to do whatever the prosecutor wanted me to do. Note taking was optional.

Finally, there was meaning in my life. I knew my purpose. Everything was going to be okay. Well, mostly. There’s still that bit about being featured and having to act.

Why was I freaking out so much? I’m a background ACTOR, so why should this be so crazy to me?

Well, because I’m not ‘looking for my big break’ or ‘wanting to be a star’ or any of that kind of stuff. I just want to be part of the Hollywood magic and hopefully be in frame in the finished product so I can do a screen capture and put a little arrow pointing to me. Y’know, being recorded as part of history even if no one outside of this blog knows that tiny little blur is me. I don’t have big aspirations. If it happens, great, but I’m not going to seek it out. I don’t have that kind of stamina and rejection as a writer is hard enough. Rejection as an actor is far more personal.

There are several actors who would’ve been instant hams in my particular situation, too, and mentally rehearsed lines they’d make up and try to slide in so they could get paid more or try to show off like this was an on-the-job audition.

I’m not that kind of girl. I was there to be the prosecutor’s assistant and not steal his show. I was to work with him, not over him…and also not make him look like an idiot for supposedly hiring me.

That’s where all the nerves come from. But once we were rolling during the first take, I realized that mostly I’d be listening to the court case. There wasn’t much interaction necessary between Marcus and I. And what was necessary was on his lead, not mine.

So I went with that and everything grew from there. I started to scowl at the other lawyer, I got engrossed in the testimonies, I silently rooted for Marcus whenever he was addressing the jury or questioning a witness. It was awesome. For a role I had no idea how to play, I got it figured out pretty damn well if I do say so myself. (I just hoped I impressed the director, too…)

After much of the testimony of the three witnesses was done, there were still turnarounds to do…and then my chance to really shine. I gotta admit that sitting at a table with two big cameras about three feet from my face–which moved back and forth and side to side during the take–was both terrifying and exhilarating. Both the hair and make-up people had been touching me up between takes all day and that really boosted my confidence because at least I knew I was looking my best…now if I could just act my best, too, without looking fake…

In college, I majored in Theater Design and Technology. Basically, what that entails is about three-quarters of the acting classes that Actors had to take plus a few specialized stagecraft classes. In those acting classes, I was always near the top of the class. Aspiring actors used to ask me how I did so well since I didn’t even wanna be an actor when I grew up.

I flat out told them the truth: “I just go up on that stage and get the assignment done. I’m there to do a job. No more, no less. I don’t care what I look like or how I’m doing. I don’t care about any of that. I just get the job done according to what the teacher wants.”

My own advice paid off… That plus a little bit of paying attention when I watch movies and stuff. Ever notice how when they cut to someone who’s listening, they always use the clips where the person scratches his nose, shifts in his chair, sniffs, rolls his eyes, bites his lip, swallows, tilts his head, etc.? With that bit of knowledge in my head, my advice to myself about a job to be done and an interior monologue about the case at hand going through my head, I was good to go.

And then it finally hit me pretty hard that it was a two-shot with myself and Marcus. He knew the script. He had worked through his character. He was being directed. As an extra, if the director directs me, they have to pay me more money, so directors usually stay away from background actors. Sometimes, they have the 1st AD relay direction, but only when it’s really necessary. Good enough is good enough when it comes to extras.

This being a two-shot suddenly had me scared again. We were to be looking slightly to the right, so that put Marcus out of my peripheral vision. I’d be mostly winging it, so hopefully he’d make a few big movements so that I could sort of copy them. Not exactly, but if he shook his head, I at least wanted to match him with a scowl or rolling my eyes…something that had the same sort of connotations. That way we looked like a team–two people who had put a ton of work into this case together.

As soon as I heard “Action!” I just started making it all work. I did the best I could to match Marcus. I went really deep into my character…and realized that my shoulders were somewhere up by my ears because I was so stiff. How did that get past my mental inventory? Well, since I didn’t give a shit about what I looked like, I made that tension work, too and shifted at an appropriate spot and did a few other movements–even played with my pen a little.

That first ‘listening’ take was crazy, but I could tell by the director’s smile and the excitement of the camera operators plus the Director of Photography introducing himself to me between takes that I must’ve done something right. Yay! Go me!

Two solid minutes of nothing but listening can seem like an eternity–especially when you have to react to words you’ve heard a million times as though it’s the first time you’ve heard them. It gets hard to fight the anticipation sometimes.

Good golly, I was so thrilled. I mean, what was supposed to be just another extra gig had turned into so very much more and I’m so glad for that. I really am. It’s these little things that really spur me on, keep me going back to face the hours of boredom or the comments like “Stupid fucking extras…” and waiting until the crew goes through the lunch line before us extras are allowed to eat. It’s the kind of adventure I thrive on. It’s why I have been doing this for the past five years.

As a general note on this gig, though, I just gotta mention that another personal record was set for me. The trial took place over the course of four days…three of which were being shot on the same day…which means that us extras had to have three different outfits. This was a first for me to have three outfits that required an area for me to change in rather than just putting on a jacket or taking it off. The other part of this first is kind of funny.

Due to how long it takes to move cameras and rearrange a room to cheat stuff to look right in frame, sometimes, they’d leave the cameras in place and have everyone go change clothes. I swear it, we must’ve changed clothes at least thirty times by the end of the day. It got so hectic at one point, that I forgot which was which and changed into the wrong outfit. I had to ask the wardrobe people because I felt wrong, but couldn’t figure out what I was supposed to be wearing. After that, I started going by who was on the witness stand rather than what scene or what day it was because I just couldn’t keep them straight!

I’m betting that’ll make for a good story for all of us extras when we’re in holding on whatever show we work next. We’ll all have an “On Raising The Bar, we had to change clothes a million times” story to share in exchange for a “On War of the Worlds, Tom Cruise refused to work until production put heaters in the extras holding tents because we were freezing” story.

That’s another thing I love about being an extra. The stories are fascinating…and I’ve lived some of them!

Oh yeah, and the other surprise for the day was that I was to be recalled for the following day. Yay!

While the make-up lady was putting my face on, she said, “I just gotta say that you looked really pretty on camera yesterday. You did really good. The way you were lit… You looked really great.” I was stunned. I couldn’t believe my ears. I mean, yeah, the director shook my hand and thanked me at the end of the day and that was really, really, really freakin’ cool, but no one said anything about my performance or how I looked. I just figured that since I wasn’t being yelled at or directed, I must be at least passable…y’know, for a stupid fucking extra.

Then, she said, “And over by the monitors, one of the people there said, ‘Who’s she? The camera’s all over her? Does she have any lines?’ and when they said no, he was really surprised. ‘She’s really good.'” Yeah, I was beyond the valley of ready to do happy dance cartwheels. For a role I didn’t know how to play and didn’t even know I’d be playing it until about an hour before I did it, that ain’t too shabby a thing to say.

However, that also meant I had to do a repeat performance. No pressure or anything…

And at least the second day I didn’t have to change clothes. That was such a relief! The first day, my suits were polyester, but this second day, I was wearing wool and thought I was going to pass out from the heat a few times when I couldn’t take the jacket off. At least it was a skirt suit. That helped a little.

I did more listening and there were a few times when Marcus leaned over to say stuff to me. That was fun. Also, when the verdict was read and we won the case, it was fun to react a little, too.

But the absolute most difficult shot of the whole two days was the shot where Marcus and I leave. He and the other lawyer have some lines while we’re picking up our paperwork and stuff. Somehow, miraculously, I was able to carry my purse, a legal-size, inch-thick accordion file and two of those file box briefcases…and do it like it’s no big deal…and get through the swinging rail and out another door.

Somehow, it all worked out and I didn’t disrupt the scene too much, but wowie, now that was acting! I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like if those file boxes had been full. Ah well. That’ll make for another good story to tell while in holding next time I hear someone talking about how much stuff they had to carry in a scene.

Keep your fingers crossed that I get to work on this show again. Sometimes, they don’t bring extras back if they’ve been featured. Hopefully, I’ll get a recurring role as Marcus’ assistant throughout the series. That would kick ass, but I’m not gonna hold my breath. *sigh*

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