Man On Fire

The bulk of the following Tale is copied from an email I’d sent to Jen after my first week as a Production Assistant on a feature film called Man On Fire. I had a great time and really loved the job after I got used to it.

This was my first foray into being a runner. I’d do it again in a heartbeat, too, because once my head stopped spinning, I had a great time, top down and listening to my radio in my convertible ’68 Mustang as I cruised LA.

The toughest parts of the job were strategically planning my route and…well…I don’t recall anything else as actually being difficult! Even LA traffic ceases most of its annoyance when there’s no need to hurry.

OK… I’ve been a PA for one full week. I’m actually not much of a Production Assistant as I am a Runner.

I drive about a hundred miles everyday. I know my way around Hollywood like it’s second nature. I’m learning Santa Monica and the West Side as well. I’m even venturing over to Glendale and East LA. My goodness! I do a lot of driving. I love it, but it does get tiring in traffic sometimes. I’m mostly glad that the the people in the office understand traffic. They don’t expect me to go 40 miles roundtrip in an hour when I leave the office after 3:30. I was really afraid of that at first. So far, there’s only been one trip I had to make with a time limit. Actually, that’s probably the best description of the kinds of things I do at my new job:

Start in the Valley at Western Costume where the Wardrobe office is located.

Go to West Hollywood and get camera from receptionist at production office.

Figure out how to advance the roll and get it out of the camera.

Go to one-hour photo place about a mile away.

Discover that the one-hour photo machine is broken and look for another place.

Have film developed. It’s gotta be done in exactly an hour or I’m not gonna make it back to the production office in time for the big design meeting.

Find a place to wait… I ended up at Starbucks. As I was sitting there being bored, Michael Vartan from Alias walked in and got his morning coffee. He really did look like he just got up!

Finish drinking my tea and eating my chocolate croissant.

Go lean on film counter ten minutes early because I need to get back to the production office.

Pay for film as one of the assistant designers calls me and asks where the hell am I because the meeting is about to start.

Inform her that the place she told me to go had a broken machine so I had to find another place.

Take deep breath as she sounds relieved.

Run to my car and get back to the production office.

Hand over the pix and the camera as the assistant designer and the head designer pretend as though they never called wondering where I was.

Go to the main production office in Santa Monica and pick up paperwork.

Go back to the production office and drop off some of the paperwork–but mostly hang around and wait for the assistant designer to remember that I’m waiting in the lobby for her.

Because she doesn’t have anywhere else for me to go, head back to the wardrobe office in the Valley.

From there, go back over to West Hollywood at the Beverly Center and return 2 suits to Hugo Boss because Denzel Washington is going to wear the beige one, not the grey ones.

Go back to the wardrobe office and drop off the receipts.

Yeah, that’s a typical day for me… Except that I usually go to at least 10 different places to either pick up, drop off or buy something. Sometimes, I even go to the same place twice!

Oh, and when the film comes out, look for the scene where Denzel is wearing a dust mask of some sort. They sent me to OSH and Home Depot to get it. That’s my claim to fame on this movie so far. yippie…

I’ve also handled and transported some of Denzel’s personal clothing. He’s got good taste. And apparently, if he likes something, he’ll wear it out!

And I’ve also learned that Hollywood accountants are really really picky. No one told me that not only was I supposed to be keeping track of my mileage, I was also supposed to be keeping track of where I was going and how far each stop was from the next. I nearly cried when the producer told me that… on Friday. I did the best I could to recreate my routes for the week, but I ended up about 70 miles short in comparison to what mapquest said and what my odometer said. I guess that’s the price I pay for experience. Oh well. I surprised the heck out of myself with what I remembered of my routes. And at least I’ll get paid for most of it.

So, that’s a week in the life of a PA. 1 down and 4 to go! I love it, but boy oh boy is it hectic and tiring. I think I could definitely do this many more times as long as I know that it’ll be about 5 weeks and then I can have a few weeks off after that.

If I ever meet Denzel, I’m sure I’ll post a story. So far, I’ve only touched his clothing.

I didn’t touch Michael Vartan, though… I know Jen was wishing she could have!

During one of my last weeks, I did get to see Denzel at the production office. He seemed very nice, but I wasn’t really supposed to be in the room at the time and, in fact, was in there accidentally. Whoops! As soon as I realized I’d goofed, I practically ran out of there. I was delivering a batch of photographs. I’d asked where everyone was and the only reply I got was a fellow pointing into a room while talking on a phone, so I just went in there, did my deer in headlights impression, handed over the photos and ran right back out again.

I do love Hollywood, though. This is absolutely where I belong!