Kicking and Screaming

I just got home from a fifteen hour shoot on the set of ‘Kicking and Screaming’…starring Will Farrell. He as well as Vince Vaughn probably think I’m stalking him because I’ve worked on their last couple shows….It’s just rare to have such a long day be such a good day and actually get some decent camera time in the process.

Jen always asks how close I got to whichever star… Well, I was about three inches from Will this time.

And my piece of business…writing. I was writing in my notebook while sitting in a coffee house and Will is standing in a line right next to me.

The man is downright hilarious… a real comedic genius.

It was another one of those scenes where as extras, we’re not allowed to laugh, but as soon as the director hollered “Cut!” we all just busted up to get it out of our system. He’s very professional, very ‘in the moment’ and very funny. Before long, I think I’m gonna end up a Will Farrell fan!

The following is the actual words I wrote in my notebook during the filming of the scene. Boy, did I say what exactly was on my mind…not much!

Making it look like I’m busy… On the set of Kicking and Screaming… Will Farrell’s in this movie. It’s the second of his in a row. So strange. I’m listening to him make a big deal in a coffee shop. He’s playing a caffeine addict. He’s going on and on… It’s actually pretty funny. I’m writing through the break just so I can get onto the next page. Okay. Here we go again. I’m in the shot. I just don’t want to be too obvious. The guy is yelling. This is great. Here he goes again. Not a bad day. Loud. Very loud. But really fun. He’s ranting like crazy. It’s really a blast. But I also really gotta take a whiz…onto my next page. Still going. It’s downright hilarious. I hope they keep this stuff. It’s really a hoot. He’s still going. I’m even required to react to what all’s going on the scene. This is great. Keep going. Wow. Page after page. I’m diggin’ it. I–

After about five to seven takes, they must have gotten what they were looking for because what I wrote in my notebook cut off right there!

And here’s a deleted scene bonus… My 2000 Plymouth Prowler:

Be Cool (1)

Today, I was on the set of ‘Be Cool’. It’s the sequel to ‘Get Shorty’. John Travolta wasn’t there. I’d've loved to see him again. He’s a real sweetie. It’s been a few years since I’ve seen him.In fact, of the three actors that were there, I only recognized one name…and recognized him, the man, as well despite the white satin shirt, light blue pants and red cowboy boots…and, my oh my… I really didn’t think I’d be quite so…ummm… impressed.

Yeah, luckily the weather was a little chilly so I didn’t have to blatantly fan myself because holy-moly The Rock is one super-fine man in person! Wow!

I didn’t see him actually acting in the scene because I was hard at work walking around in the background, but my goodness, I nearly ran into the guy on my way to grab a donut and I swear the man stepped right out of a torrid romance novel…well… from what I could tell with his clothes on at least! Tall and handsome and sexy and seemed rather nice–he was signing autographs for passers-by between shots while the make-up and hair crews touched him up.

It was actually kind of a strange day. There’s nothing like being booked with a particular car, going to start it up at 5:15AM and having the battery cable so corroded that there was no way in the world that car was gonna leave my driveway.

I had to call the casting director and apologize profusely. As luck would have it, my service had told me the wrong car to bring in the first place! I was off the hook and on the road. I made it just in time to hurry up and wait. Seeing The Rock and having to consciously remind myself not to drool was like karma making up for the car not starting.

And as I recall, when I’d spoken with the casting director, I told her that I only had one other new car because the rest were classics.

I guess she remembered that because I got booked again on Be Cool the following week with one of my Mustangs.

Seeing Johnny Depp

The following is an excerpt from an email sent shortly afterward:

Because I’m in SAG [Screen Actors Guild], and I live near LA, if I so choose, I can go to see free screenings where they also have a little interview with one of the actors. This was my first one, just to check it out and I didn’t even stay to watch the movie because I was alllllllll the way back in the theatre–which made the screen appear about the same size as a TV screen anyway.

Okay… All 1100 of us got in free and then they gave us free popcorn and a soda. Well, because I helped a fellow with a broken arm carry an extra drink for his friend, most of the decent seats got taken and I ended up in the third row from the back, third seat in. No big deal. I just wanted to be there.

When the interview was ready to start, a few photographers crowded the aisle on my side. Holy shit! The man was going to come down the aisle about 8 feet away from me! I turned to see the entourage. The actor started looking at people. I had a smile on my face, of course. When his chocolate brown eyes met mine, he smiled. Not only did I make eye contact with Johnny Depp, I unintentionally encouraged him to smile. WooHoo!!!!! I couldn’t believe it. Was no one else smiling around me or something?

That split second was totally worth the entire fiasco I’d gone through just to get there. He stayed for about an hour and answered all sorts of questions. I didn’t stay to watch Pirates because I was so far back, it wouldn’t've been a real theater-movie experience. I was absolutely beside myself the rest of the night. I mean, all I’d set out to do was be in the same room with him and actually hear him speak, but boy oh boy, did I get more than that without even trying! And I will never forget looking into his eyes and finding they were looking right back at me! WooHoo!

Without A Trace

The following is from an email sent shortly after the shoot:

Fifteen hours of pure boredom. I only worked for about two, maybe three hours.

They really only wanted our cars parked in the background anyway. I have no idea what the episode was about or anything. All I saw was a guy getting arrested by the FBI.

The rest of the scene took place in a house and all I could hear was a skirmish followed by the words, “Sit down! Sit! Sit!” Sorry, no good plot teasers or anything for anyone who watches the show. They did blow up a door and a window, though. That was pretty nifty.

The real tale this time is for those of you who happen to like Vin Diesel…

As I was sitting in holding, naturally a fellow struck up a conversation with me. We were in one of the older parts of town where there are Victorian homes…kinda run down and forgotten. Anyway, the fellow said that the house they used in the first party scene in Fast & The Furious was about five doors down from where we were working.

He then proceeded to tell me that he’d been Vin’s stand-in for F&F, A Man Apart, Triple X and that sequel they’re doing for Pitch Black. So, I ask the inevitable question… “What’s Vin Diesel like?” And we end up talking about the man for a good half hour.

Apparently, he’s very cool. He does do his best to stay out of the limelight just because he doesn’t like all the hype. The number one thing, though, is that Vin is very loyal. He actually requests this guy whenever he needs a stand-in. They flew the guy to Prague for Triple X… And to Paris for some other thing Vin was working on and for that, Vin called him personally to ask him to come with him… And he went first class, just him and Vin.

WaHoo! It’s always good to know when someone you like really is likable in more ways than just eye candy. Now if the man would just film something in LA that I can actually get on…

Angel

This was a great television series. Too bad it’s no longer on. But thankfully, it’s out on DVD. That’s how I got these screen caps. I’m still wishing that Joss Whedon had been on the set.

Back before I became an extra, I’d shown up on the first day of filming of Season One, Episode One as part of my job. I stuck around to watch a set-up and a bunch of takes while Joss was directing. The man is absolutely intense.

The following is from an email written shortly after this later shoot:

So, today, I was on the TV show Angel. I have no idea when the episode will air, though.

I was playing a dead nun… Yes, I [of all people] was dressed in a full nun’s habit and I got to lay motionless on the floor for what felt like eternity.

Yes, I got to see David Boreanaz… I was laying at his feet. Today’s record for getting closest to a principle actor is about an inch and a half. He’s pretty cool. Both a dweeb and a very sexy/cool man all at the same time. Not to mention, he’s also eye candy!

And to top it all off, I got to have fake blood dribbled and smeared on me. They did a bunch of close-ups on the dead nuns so, I’m thinking we’ll have a pretty good featured part. They had us lay down in a weird sort of formation just so we could look spookier because supposedly the guy who killed us used our deaths to go to a different dimension. I dunno. All I know is that I got to be dead with my eyes open and that was pretty nifty in itself.

The show aired on February 4th, 2004. It was Angel’s 100th episode.

Looking back on that day, I remember wishing that James Marsters was there, but he was the only principle cast member who wasn’t. I really wanted to see him again because Jen and I had met him previously. There’s a pic in our author section about that meeting. I’m still bummed the show was canceled. Hopefully, Joss will do another show real soon.

One of my favorite memories of David Boreanaz was when he asked the director if it was okay for him to be so near a big six foot tall cross. Then, later on between takes, seeing the vampire himself leaning on the cross while he waited for the crew to finish fixing up us nuns. Afterward, he even gave up his seat on a couch so that us nuns could sit down…What a sweetie.

Threat Matrix

The following is from an email I’d sent to Jen:

So, yeah, last night aside from getting more good stuff to put into books, I did an amazing job and they loved all my 80s stuff…especially my 80s hair. You know how I used to do it with the one side flipped up, etc. I just did that again and they LOVED it. They said I had the best hair of the whole show.

As for stuff we need to add into books… We got to the first location with our cars and they initially had me park mine and then I was gonna be a pedestrian, but they last second changed their mind and wanted me to drive through. So, there I go trotting across the street and just as I get behind my car, my feet come completely out from underneath me. I did manage to hurt my wrist and elbow, but the fall was so comic, I just couldn’t mention it.

They’re all askin’ if I’m okay, and I’m laughin’ and giggling, saying I’m fine and I get in the car and do the stuff. And honestly, at the time, I was fine. It wasn’t for about 6 hours later that I started feelin’ it. Ah well. It was just such a Blaina moment. She’s eager to drive on set, so I think it’d be hilarious. We should put something like that in Driven To Distraction.

Okay, now for standing in… Well, sitting in and the scene after that I stood in. And you’re never gonna believe who for… First let me say that she’s about 4 inches taller than me and had long, poofy blonde hair. Yes, I looked NOTHING like her… Denise Crosby. Probably best known as Tasha Yar from Star Trek Next Generation. She’s way cool and she likes late 60s rock ‘n’ roll and rockabilly.

I was just having one of those incredibly ‘on’ kind of nights. The guy I was standing in with was asking me where to go and what to do and the ADs loved me to pieces because I was always trying to fill empty spots and wasn’t afraid to walk between the principals and the camera. I seriously think that of the 4 or 5 different scenes where I walked in front of the camera, one of them has got to be saved from the cutting room floor. This episode takes place in 1983. Two American agents are tailing a Russian agent. This was 2nd unit, so that’s about all the information I have on the episode.

Sleepover

I think the movie was called Sleepover, but I’m not positive. I remember it being a high school kids movie. This was my second time being a stand-in.

The regular stand-in didn’t show up that night for some reason, so the 2nd Assistant Director gathered up all of the female extras, I believe there were only about four or five of us. We stood there, waiting to find out which of us would be the stand-in.

It came down to me and another girl. The AD got on her radio saying something like, “Well, neither of them look like her at all. Do you want someone the right size, but an inch shorter and with the wrong hair color or someone who’s the right height, but wrong size and also wrong hair color?” Then the radio broke up and the AD had to just make a quick decision.

The following is an excerpt from an email I wrote to Jen the day after the shoot:

Let me get the two dirty jokes from the set out of the way… ‘What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? …She choked…’ and you know the saying: ‘I’m all over it, like white on rice.’ Well, new and improved: ‘I’m all over it, like a grip on an extra.’

Now for story time… The female stand-in didn’t show up, so they lined up all the girls and picked one–me! And I look nothing like the actress, but I’m the same size as she is. So, they put this incredibly ill-fitting blonde wig on me. Remember Julia Roberts in the beginning of Pretty Woman? That’s kinda the style of this blonde wig. I looked horrible.

They gave me a pink shirt to put on, too and there I go to be a stand-in. It’s cold and raining off and on, but at least as a stand-in, I can sit in the nice director’s chairs by the heaters. Anyhow, I was kinda feeling like Blaina must feel when she’s trussed up to look like Meleta. I mean, guys didn’t know what to make of my fake hair. Some were afraid to ask! It was pretty funny. I wish I’d had a camera.

Meet Blaina and Meleta in Driver to Distraction.

Havoc (2)

Okay… This is gonna be a long one. The past couple of days just whizzed past me with non-stop excitement. Even as I write this, there are still plenty of helicopters flying over my neighborhood. I mean, I thrive on excitement, but this was really, really pushing my envelope. Although, the best thing I got out of the experience is the knowledge that if I had lost everything, I knew I could survive. I take life as it comes at me and I would have been just fine. Sometimes, that’s one of the best things to learn in life.

All right… here goes!

I’d headed out to the set of Havoc [Bijou Phillips, Anne Hathaway, etc.]. As I got on the freeway, I saw about fifteen fire engines in one of the canyons just past my house. The police were out closing the road down there and the mountains were ablaze.

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Havoc (1)

The following is an excerpt from an email I’d sent the day after this shoot. Southern California was on fire and I was working on a movie…

I’d driven in to downtown LA in my primered Mustang [most of which I'd had to reassemble just to be able to drive it] when, while changing lanes, I hear this nasty crackling/thumping noise. I knew it was my tire…and it was bad. Real bad as far as definitely gonna make me late for call time. And I’ve never ever in my theatre or film/TV career been late.

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The Shampoo Commercial Audition

The following is an excerpt from an email I’d sent shortly after this wild and crazy adventure:

I got a message on my voicemail–an agent telling me that a casting director had requested me for a commercial and that she’d tracked me down by calling SAG to get my number. I call her back and set up an appointment for the following morning to come in and have a talk with her. Mind you, I’m in the absolute middle of getting everything ready for RT–costumes, promo, writing, everything–and I was worried that I wasn’t going to have time to get it all done before it was time to leave.

So, I go in to meet her and I brought in a headshot just in case. I mean, I have no idea who gave her my name, why they gave her my name. I’m completely clueless, just going with the adventure. Okay, so she has me talk to another agent. They make a bunch of copies of my headshot, slap their sticker on one of them and tell me I gotta go over to this other place to talk to some other guy. I’m thinking I’m going to another office kind of situation. I’m nervous as hell because I’d never been to an agency before let alone going to two in one day. I’m just a lowly background actor who hasn’t worked for a month. What the hell do I know, right? I still have no idea how any of this came about. I’m just letting it take me on the journey.

I go to see this other guy and I land at an audition hall. There’s all these 6-foot-tall, skinnier-than-I-am women with long straight hair–yes, everything I am not. And I still have no idea who I’m seeing or even why I’m seeing the guy… and at that moment, where the hell was the guy anyway?! As I’m looking for the right room, a woman comes out to talk to another guy. She tells him his monologue was good and now he just needed to go back in and give them a real strong read.

And if I wasn’t completely freaking out before, I’m definitely gettin’ weathered around the edges at this point. I mean, yeah, I have two monologues memorized, but those were from years ago and I haven’t rehearsed them for at least three years. I’m a background actor for goodness sake! I don’t speak on camera!

I sign in and sit down–still completely unsure where I am, why I’m there and what’s really going on.

A guy whom I swear I’ve never seen before comes out of one of the rooms, beckons me over to him, shoves a Polaroid camera inches from my face, and snaps a shot before I even know what has hit me. Although, by this time, I was really getting off on the adventure and surreality of my situation. It’d been years since my last crazy adventure like this. And things were waaaaay far beyond any ounce of my control at that point.

Okay, so he leads me into the room and I nearly fall over when I see that there’s a camera in there.

I did my very first screen test that day and then walked out of there thinking that all in all, I’d had a damn good time of it. I mean, it was a hair commercial and I was actually having a good hair day at least!

And now to tie the whole thing together… to this day, I still have no idea who any of these people are or how they got my name. Generally, when something this odd happens, it’s an avalanche and I’d at least get a call about it. But nothing this time. I was just in the crazy, unsure reality not having even the faintest idea what to do about it.